For the first time in a over a month, this weekend equals me FINALLY being able to be a couch potato, to prop my feet up, and to have "me time," while realizing these may be some of the last quiet moments I will experience for years, if not decades. This, mixed with my heightened emotional state, means that I can write and you can read with amazement that I still know how to access my blog site.
As a little girl, most dream of the day they will wear a white dress, carry pretty flowers, kiss their prince, and dance the night away. I even dressed up as a bride multiple Halloweens in a row as a child (yes, even with that boy haircut). Even more so instilled in little girls as children is their innate nature to be a mother. The first toy most often given to a girl is a doll, right? The wedding is one day in a lifetime. While a wedding day signifies a marriage, an eternal promise and vow, bringing two together as one, motherhood brings a new life into the world. While similar in that they are both life-changing, one, unfortunately, can end or change while being a parent is permanent. My mother spends an exorbitant amount of time worrying about me and my sister, about things that Jess and I assure her are minute and will work themselves out. If I could count the number of times (mostly through tears) that my mom has told me "you will understand one day when you are a mother," then I would be a rich woman.
For me, I was the baby of the family. I remember my cousin, Karen, being born but she was the only baby I was really ever around. I did not babysit much in high school or college. So you can imagine the sheer terror I feel about becoming a mother. The excitement, of course, outweighs my fear and I know my instincts will kick in. But, I'm not alone.
I never really thought about my children's father growing up. Maybe most girls do, but I didn't. I focused more on the baby. Rocking her (my dolls were always girls), changing her, feeding her (with those fake bottles with the white liquid inside that moved), brushing her hair, and playing dress up. What I know I lack becoming a parent is more than made up for in the man that is making me a mother. And for that, I am beyond grateful and blessed. Isn't it amazing how life works out that way? Where I fall short, he will be there to lead the way (and when he can't help, there's Boo ;)).
Father's Day Weekend 2014 was my wedding weekend. I can honestly say that I love Brady more this Father's Day than I did this time last year, even though it was "the best day ever." I will NEVER forget the smile on his face, as I shed a few tears, when the ultrasound tech confirmed it was a boy. And, more so than that moment, I know my love for him the moment he felt our son move for the first time will only be surpassed the moment I see him hold Barrett for the first time.
I am beyond humbled to be related to the fathers in my life. My dad has supported me at every turn, wanting me to live this life genuinely happy. He's instilled in me a love for the Georgia Bulldogs, the Rolling Stones, fast (foreign) cars, and seeing the beauty in everyday life, even being partially blind for most of his. My Papa taught me (even if I was only given a couple of years with him) the value of hard work and the importance of education. His love for my Gamma was unmatched. Granddaddy was a proud man, who knew that this life wasn't about money but about what you made it, your legacy. My Uncle Gerry treats me like a fourth daughter, imparting wisdom and guidance when needed. To Uncle Randy I owe my love of food science and following in his steps with my degree from UGA. My father-in-law is a man in a league of his own, who knows when to crack a joke (and let me tell you, he's a funny guy) and when to be serious, focused, and lead his family. The past year of being his daughter-in-law has reaffirmed my decision to marry his son, hoping that with each day Brady will become more and more the man his father raised, and will raise our son in the same path. Grandpa Steve (though a Notre Dame fan :P) texts me and calls my son "little pup;" those things should explain how great he is! Grandpa Denny is always there to answer our "how to fix it" questions and is such a selfless man! My son has some incredible men to live up to!
Happy Father's Day (to be) to the father of my child(ren). I can't wait to continue this journey with you. The days you discipline our son will make me cry. The days you teach him manners will make me proud. The days you come inside dirty from playing in the creek (crEEk not crIck, and yes, I'll teach Barrett the correct way to say it) will make me cringe (and maybe cry, too). The days you teach him how to play sports will make me smile (and worry). The days you teach him how to love his mama will melt my heart. And, the days you father him the best way you know how will be the best days of my life. I love you!
Haley
P.S. Brady received a Tonka Classic Dump Truck this morning and a gift card to a local burger place. When baby boy is born, I fear I will not only be outnumbered 2-1 in the house but I may be the only adult, leaving the hospital with two kids with the birth of one. :)
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