Barrett Joseph Benson,
Happy Birthday, my sweet boy! Today, August 5th, changes everything. You change everything. We will not remember life without you from this moment forward and life will be enriched beyond compare just by your presence.
Today, you make me a mother! I will, from this day forward, always be a mother, your mother. With that comes a lot of responsibility, patience, and unconditional love. No one in this world will love you the way I love you or as much as I love you! Sure, your daddy loves you, too, very much, but I've known you 40 weeks, 3 days longer.
Grow, little one. Grow to be big and strong (eat your veggies). Grow to love people and forgive people. Grow to be passionate about life and about your interests. Grow to adapt when life throws you curve balls and grow to change. Grow to admit when you are wrong and to learn to say "I am sorry." Grow to laugh and be bold. Grow to stand firm in what you believe and to never make excuses for who you are. Grow to know who you are and to love yourself humbly. Grow to follow your dreams and to never, ever give up. Grow to be resolved to let a part of yourself "never grow up," to keep your innocence and see the world through the eyes of a child. Grow to love Jesus first and above all else. Grow into a man, to be you, to find yourself. Grow to leave an unmistakable mark on this world, for the better.
My hope for you is that you will be worthy of your names, all three. Barrett is a strong surname, representative of your maternal side. My heart aches that you will never know on this earth the two people closest to me that carried this name as theirs for 65 years and 61 years respectively. Cecil Barrett would have been your great-grandfather, and you would have been his first (great) grandson. He would have adored you. He would have driven you around in his ole blue truck, taught you how to build things, and shown you how to love all the women in your life (and there are many to love). Frances Barrett would have been your great-grandmother, and you would have been her first (great) grandson. She fought hard to meet you but she missed you by a couple of years. She loved your daddy, even knowing him only a short time, and I know she would have loved you, too. She would have taught you to can mayhaw jelly, shuck corn, grow anything, and how to laugh. Boo, your grandmother, and Nona, your great aunt Debbie, still carry Barrett as their middle name . They will spoil you and love you like no one else can or will. I hope you realize from an early age how lucky you are to call them your own. Cousin Karen/ Kiwi carries your name, too. She will teach you to skateboard (her new hobby) and how to create beauty from a blank canvas. What a strong name we will call you, one strong enough to be repeated should the Lord bless our extended family with more children; be worthy of it.
Most people do not have the opportunity to meet their great-grandparents let alone their great-great-grandparents. Lord-willing, you will meet all four of your great-grandparents on your paternal side, your great-great-grandmother, and your great-great-great Uncle Joe, Joseph McAllister! Your dad loves his Uncle Joe, and I've grown to love him, too, in the short time I've known him. Your daddy proposed to me on Uncle Joe's farm. I know you will help your dad and Pa finish rebuilding one of Uncle Joe's tractors and will one day retrace Uncle Joe's tracks from times-gone-by on the farm. Your Uncle Joe is 91 years young and is one of the greatest storytellers. Learn from him to live a life of adventure, a life of stories deserving to be retold to many future generations. Live on the edge, like driving without a license like he continues to do. Love your country, your state, your job, and your community well, like he continues to do. Be proud!
And, of course, you will always be a Benson, a name that will hopefully change a young lady's YEARS down the road, a name that you will give your children, a name that will forever be your surname. People may call you "Benny," if you are so lucky or maybe even "Benford." In many ways, it is your most important name, the name that will follow you for a lifetime and beyond. Benson is indicative of your family's history, past, presence, and future. Remember who you are and know that the decisions you make and the life you lead will shape the Benson name forever.
Sweet Barrett, I cannot wait to see you grow into a beautiful blend of me and your daddy, the good traits and the bad, the stunning good looks and charm, the passion for sports, the love for the finer things, and the genuine zest for life. I love you beyond words and am beyond blessed that I was called to be your mother. Be easy on me, as this is all new to me and I'm bound to get some things wrong. We will be okay; we are in this together.
On this day, we will shower you with gifts for many years to come, but please know that ultimately on this day, YOU were the greatest gift ever given. Happy Birthday!
LUTM,
Mommy
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Father's Day.
If you know me at all, you know I am an emotional and sentimental person by nature. Add my ever-changing
self image of finding the balance between a beautiful, growing bump to
tipping the scales at the heaviest I've ever been (and finding clothes
to wear while also having never dealt with body issues before in my
life, except for those boy cut days :)) and the raging pregnancy
hormones racing though my body, and you can only imagine by emotional
state.
For the first time in a over a month, this weekend equals me FINALLY being able to be a couch potato, to prop my feet up, and to have "me time," while realizing these may be some of the last quiet moments I will experience for years, if not decades. This, mixed with my heightened emotional state, means that I can write and you can read with amazement that I still know how to access my blog site.
As a little girl, most dream of the day they will wear a white dress, carry pretty flowers, kiss their prince, and dance the night away. I even dressed up as a bride multiple Halloweens in a row as a child (yes, even with that boy haircut). Even more so instilled in little girls as children is their innate nature to be a mother. The first toy most often given to a girl is a doll, right? The wedding is one day in a lifetime. While a wedding day signifies a marriage, an eternal promise and vow, bringing two together as one, motherhood brings a new life into the world. While similar in that they are both life-changing, one, unfortunately, can end or change while being a parent is permanent. My mother spends an exorbitant amount of time worrying about me and my sister, about things that Jess and I assure her are minute and will work themselves out. If I could count the number of times (mostly through tears) that my mom has told me "you will understand one day when you are a mother," then I would be a rich woman.
For me, I was the baby of the family. I remember my cousin, Karen, being born but she was the only baby I was really ever around. I did not babysit much in high school or college. So you can imagine the sheer terror I feel about becoming a mother. The excitement, of course, outweighs my fear and I know my instincts will kick in. But, I'm not alone.
I never really thought about my children's father growing up. Maybe most girls do, but I didn't. I focused more on the baby. Rocking her (my dolls were always girls), changing her, feeding her (with those fake bottles with the white liquid inside that moved), brushing her hair, and playing dress up. What I know I lack becoming a parent is more than made up for in the man that is making me a mother. And for that, I am beyond grateful and blessed. Isn't it amazing how life works out that way? Where I fall short, he will be there to lead the way (and when he can't help, there's Boo ;)).
Father's Day Weekend 2014 was my wedding weekend. I can honestly say that I love Brady more this Father's Day than I did this time last year, even though it was "the best day ever." I will NEVER forget the smile on his face, as I shed a few tears, when the ultrasound tech confirmed it was a boy. And, more so than that moment, I know my love for him the moment he felt our son move for the first time will only be surpassed the moment I see him hold Barrett for the first time.
I am beyond humbled to be related to the fathers in my life. My dad has supported me at every turn, wanting me to live this life genuinely happy. He's instilled in me a love for the Georgia Bulldogs, the Rolling Stones, fast (foreign) cars, and seeing the beauty in everyday life, even being partially blind for most of his. My Papa taught me (even if I was only given a couple of years with him) the value of hard work and the importance of education. His love for my Gamma was unmatched. Granddaddy was a proud man, who knew that this life wasn't about money but about what you made it, your legacy. My Uncle Gerry treats me like a fourth daughter, imparting wisdom and guidance when needed. To Uncle Randy I owe my love of food science and following in his steps with my degree from UGA. My father-in-law is a man in a league of his own, who knows when to crack a joke (and let me tell you, he's a funny guy) and when to be serious, focused, and lead his family. The past year of being his daughter-in-law has reaffirmed my decision to marry his son, hoping that with each day Brady will become more and more the man his father raised, and will raise our son in the same path. Grandpa Steve (though a Notre Dame fan :P) texts me and calls my son "little pup;" those things should explain how great he is! Grandpa Denny is always there to answer our "how to fix it" questions and is such a selfless man! My son has some incredible men to live up to!
Happy Father's Day (to be) to the father of my child(ren). I can't wait to continue this journey with you. The days you discipline our son will make me cry. The days you teach him manners will make me proud. The days you come inside dirty from playing in the creek (crEEk not crIck, and yes, I'll teach Barrett the correct way to say it) will make me cringe (and maybe cry, too). The days you teach him how to play sports will make me smile (and worry). The days you teach him how to love his mama will melt my heart. And, the days you father him the best way you know how will be the best days of my life. I love you!
Haley
P.S. Brady received a Tonka Classic Dump Truck this morning and a gift card to a local burger place. When baby boy is born, I fear I will not only be outnumbered 2-1 in the house but I may be the only adult, leaving the hospital with two kids with the birth of one. :)
For the first time in a over a month, this weekend equals me FINALLY being able to be a couch potato, to prop my feet up, and to have "me time," while realizing these may be some of the last quiet moments I will experience for years, if not decades. This, mixed with my heightened emotional state, means that I can write and you can read with amazement that I still know how to access my blog site.
As a little girl, most dream of the day they will wear a white dress, carry pretty flowers, kiss their prince, and dance the night away. I even dressed up as a bride multiple Halloweens in a row as a child (yes, even with that boy haircut). Even more so instilled in little girls as children is their innate nature to be a mother. The first toy most often given to a girl is a doll, right? The wedding is one day in a lifetime. While a wedding day signifies a marriage, an eternal promise and vow, bringing two together as one, motherhood brings a new life into the world. While similar in that they are both life-changing, one, unfortunately, can end or change while being a parent is permanent. My mother spends an exorbitant amount of time worrying about me and my sister, about things that Jess and I assure her are minute and will work themselves out. If I could count the number of times (mostly through tears) that my mom has told me "you will understand one day when you are a mother," then I would be a rich woman.
For me, I was the baby of the family. I remember my cousin, Karen, being born but she was the only baby I was really ever around. I did not babysit much in high school or college. So you can imagine the sheer terror I feel about becoming a mother. The excitement, of course, outweighs my fear and I know my instincts will kick in. But, I'm not alone.
I never really thought about my children's father growing up. Maybe most girls do, but I didn't. I focused more on the baby. Rocking her (my dolls were always girls), changing her, feeding her (with those fake bottles with the white liquid inside that moved), brushing her hair, and playing dress up. What I know I lack becoming a parent is more than made up for in the man that is making me a mother. And for that, I am beyond grateful and blessed. Isn't it amazing how life works out that way? Where I fall short, he will be there to lead the way (and when he can't help, there's Boo ;)).
Father's Day Weekend 2014 was my wedding weekend. I can honestly say that I love Brady more this Father's Day than I did this time last year, even though it was "the best day ever." I will NEVER forget the smile on his face, as I shed a few tears, when the ultrasound tech confirmed it was a boy. And, more so than that moment, I know my love for him the moment he felt our son move for the first time will only be surpassed the moment I see him hold Barrett for the first time.
I am beyond humbled to be related to the fathers in my life. My dad has supported me at every turn, wanting me to live this life genuinely happy. He's instilled in me a love for the Georgia Bulldogs, the Rolling Stones, fast (foreign) cars, and seeing the beauty in everyday life, even being partially blind for most of his. My Papa taught me (even if I was only given a couple of years with him) the value of hard work and the importance of education. His love for my Gamma was unmatched. Granddaddy was a proud man, who knew that this life wasn't about money but about what you made it, your legacy. My Uncle Gerry treats me like a fourth daughter, imparting wisdom and guidance when needed. To Uncle Randy I owe my love of food science and following in his steps with my degree from UGA. My father-in-law is a man in a league of his own, who knows when to crack a joke (and let me tell you, he's a funny guy) and when to be serious, focused, and lead his family. The past year of being his daughter-in-law has reaffirmed my decision to marry his son, hoping that with each day Brady will become more and more the man his father raised, and will raise our son in the same path. Grandpa Steve (though a Notre Dame fan :P) texts me and calls my son "little pup;" those things should explain how great he is! Grandpa Denny is always there to answer our "how to fix it" questions and is such a selfless man! My son has some incredible men to live up to!
Happy Father's Day (to be) to the father of my child(ren). I can't wait to continue this journey with you. The days you discipline our son will make me cry. The days you teach him manners will make me proud. The days you come inside dirty from playing in the creek (crEEk not crIck, and yes, I'll teach Barrett the correct way to say it) will make me cringe (and maybe cry, too). The days you teach him how to play sports will make me smile (and worry). The days you teach him how to love his mama will melt my heart. And, the days you father him the best way you know how will be the best days of my life. I love you!
Haley
P.S. Brady received a Tonka Classic Dump Truck this morning and a gift card to a local burger place. When baby boy is born, I fear I will not only be outnumbered 2-1 in the house but I may be the only adult, leaving the hospital with two kids with the birth of one. :)
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